We live in an age ,when after a certain age ,it is seen as immature, weak and vulnerable to cry. Crying is something we expect people to do only under certain circumstances and even then not to linger to long with one’s tears but to dry them up as soon as the reasonable amount of time seems to have passed. It is okay to see one crying at losing their job, but cry for only a day then let it go or else you are seen as being a crybaby over something that really isn’t worth crying over Instead you are supposed to get your act together and find a new job. Your showing your weak maybe that is why you were fired in the first place, you must not be reliable because you were fired and now you are showing how weak you are.You can cry at a funeral but your not really given sufficient time to mourn, a couple of days later you are expected to be back at work and working at your fullest… in our fast paced world, who has time for mourning?So it becomes ,for those like me who are very feeling oriented especially,that today the question we all might have to face is : To weep or not to weep?
The other day I found myself on the verge of tears three times and it wasn’t anything I think most people would crown tear worthy. I know that I have these tear spells because I see others suffering and as a healer am supposed to sit with them and talk with them to ease their pain in any way possible. To the eyes of many though this just seems like I am tearing up because I looked over at the whiteboard and say the number 8 being written.I cry when I see others grief and pain. I cry when I am in grief or pain/ I cry when I think of the injustices in this world. I cry when somebody tears down the beauty of something before my very eyes. I cry when somebody sanders somebody I love dearly or something I cherish dearly. I cry because I need to cleanse myself of some sickness in this world that is trying to burrow its way into me.Perhaps, if there was not so much stigma behind crying we would all cry a lot more when we needed to , and then perhaps all of out tears would wash away the blood evil has shed upon the earth.Perhaps, if we let our tears fall we would understand that we are not the only ones in pain. For some understanding human emotion is not as easy as for us feelers and intuitives. for some having people not be afraid to cry would be a signal to how others around them are feeling. To weep or not to weep? To cry or not to cry? To let your feelings show to not to let your feelings show?
Not only is crying in general carrying the burden of society’s scowling eyes but also crying for men especially. Crying is seen as a womanly thing and I think women do cry more easily because of our motherly instincts and men cry less because of their protector instincts.Yet men should cry whenever they need to cry as well.Men are not any less manly for crying. When I see a man cry, I see a man who has taken his manhood and amplified it because he is showing that he to is not invincible to the troubles and sorrows of this world yet he is able to express his sorrow and not fear what anyone will think. Men who are willingly to cry when they need to are stronger men then men who are cowards deserting as they see the line of society approaching, weapons raised and pointed right at them. Society cannot take away what makes you a man. Only your decisions can. If you let society sit there and control you: You become like an animal, and this goes for either male or female to be clear. It is just that their is a lot more social repercussions for men who shed tears. And then there is the idea that women often have now that if they cry they are called womanly and weak and so now they to think that to cry puts them underneath men and those who don’t cry. This as well is not true. Women, no matter how much society says they control you or how weak you are, once again, ultimately that is a choice you make. Society can claim anything they want about you but it is your choice to let them exert some kind of control over you. I chose not to let society exert any control over me but instead to be ruled by moderation, peace, love and compassion, and a certain kind of balanced equality.( In the sense that men and women are equal but not equal as in the same, some things are different about us for beautiful and complexly simple reasons and why many have a hard time of facing this is confusing.)Men it is okay to cry. Women it is okay to cry. Why? Because the one thing we all have in common, not matter how we identify or who we are is that we are all human and we all feel emotion and pain and sorrow. We all ought to be able to freely weep when we need too weep. Fuck any constraints society wants to place upon us. Be. Breathe. And Weep if weep is what it needs to be.
To weep or not to weep?
Weep when you need to weep and you will be more free.
-Thank you for reading.
Let me know your thoughts and/or questions in the comments below.
-Wishing you the brightest of days,Eva
” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow,my ink would cease to flow.”