I can’t seem to remember how I got here,it is as if I fell asleep in my cradle and awoke curled against my laptop writing college applications. Time really does fly by so fast. I keep losing my footing. I think I know where I am going and what I am working towards but in truth ,I don’t care as much as they all think I do. In the end ,all I have is this sense that I am working towards something greater than myself and in the process defining myself.And why is it only one this day that I step back and find myself so overwhelmed with the fleeting years I will never get back. I could sit here for hours and list off all of the things I wanted to get done this year before I turned eighteen, but then I would not be appreciating all of the things I did get done that were on my list not to mention the things I could never have even dreamed of accomplishing that I did.So I am eighteen now. Am I going to go off and rebel shedding the shackles of my parent’s control over me? No, I am probably just going to eat a lot of cake, open my gift and then go on to babysit tonight. What will change though… it is hard to tell. It is days like this when I step back and see how I have changed and wonder if I had only paid closer attention all alone could I have seen it all changing? I know I will change. I know I am changing. I know I will continue to change in unpredictable ways. I will think differently. I will love differently. I will know different people. The old will go and the new will come and all to the tune of the tick-tock. I will still be myself but a different version of myself and hopefully all in the good.I just want to thank everyone in my life. I want to thank those who hate me and want to make things hard on me, you have taught me to stand taller and want to be myself even more ( if only to piss you off).Thank you to all my friends, family, co-workers, companions, to all those who love me; You have brought and abundance of wisdom, joy, love,truth, and memories to my life and help shaped me into the person I am today. Thank you to all strangers I have seen and met, even you have effected me by smiling to me as I pass or telling me thank you at work when I am having a really long day. And thank you to all of my readers of this blog and my other work. It really does mean the world to me that my world is touching the corners of yours. And as always Thank you all of the above people for your kindness.
-Eva Marie Monhaut
” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow.”