Posted in life, Poems, thoughts, Uncategorized

Lonesome( To G and M)

Put me into that familiar spiral,

where hearts collide on laughter light.

Be to me what I have you be in mind,

if I am wrong, let me know not,

far easier to bloom in this false bliss

than to fall and to fold within the fears of forever:

I would rather be forbidden your heart

then admit I am forbidden all:

The low hum of loneliness murmurs in my ear again;

forever,dearest,sunburnt soul, forevermore.

 

Hazel eyes, he who claims his crown,

to him clear as day,his crystal Clarified,

could not have been foretold

and what about that friend of mine,

she too ignorant or full of lies?

Such things, I shall not know.

Let the curtain fall away

to reveal it all, true pain

of which I have misled myself,

I now see truth so vivid,

no pain for him not mine

but agnoy for the silence of all my time.

 

If I were so honest, so blunt

to say what weighs down my heart,

then pity would be more than pity to me,

for pity me, full of emptiness– this pit within me.

Far better submerged in this loneliness,

truth be that fatal poison through me,

G-Gone.

M-Marked me not,

jut bitter reminders of my isolation.

Beg to be held.

Beg to be loved.

But beggar who forgets be beggar forgotten.

Loved– Not loved– Fornevermore?

The pounding silence of an untouched door.

 

I cannot know what is to be, it will be as it will for me

but in my heart, I fear my mind,

who tells me that loneliness will be my rhyme,

my crippled heart without an anchor until the end of time.

Dear M– I know not who you are,

you mean less to me then my mind let me think,

what could be still stands

–apart–from what never was.

Fooled, I latched onto what I longed to free me from this hollow,

not meaningless but less to me than before believed.

I still leave room for possibility

in this field fertilised with the uncertainty of tomorrow.

 

Dearest G, most dear to me,

time which heart knows ends in your arms.

I armed myself, with mind, aginst my heart

and still, I found only loneliness is my rhymes,

crippled heart without an anchor, trapped in time.

For you mean more to me than mind let me know.

What could be still stands

on the shores of what never was.

Foolish, I let you slip away

in longing to me void of these feelings,

mourning, you are still more to me than before believed.

I still leave room for possibility

in this field lay fallow

with the lonesome lullaby of today.

-Eva M.M.

” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow.”

This is another one of those really personal poems for me yet I still love to hear your thoughts and see how much of it even made sense to others. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me.

 

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Author:

I am a young and enthusiastic writer, fresh out of highschool and into college at IUSB. I babysit and work and live life to it's fullest. I write. I read. I do yoga. And plan to become. Yoga intructers as well. I grew up on a farm and can't,t wait to move back to the country in my tiny house I have already planned out. Sometimes I'm a little melodramatic but rarely. I'm a spiritual healer, a hopeless romantic, a book worm, and very nostalgic. Thanks for stopping by.

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