Posted in Uncategorized

My Mirror Lab Creations 2

Part One of this series was a lot of fun so I decided to do a part 2.

Here are some of my favorite latest creations using the Mirror Lab App.

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I hope you enjoyed these creations as much as I did creating them. If you have an image you think would look interesting as a creation. Comment a link to it below and I will try it out.

Thanks, have a wonderful day and stay warm!

-Eva M.M.

” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow.”

Posted in life, Poems, thoughts

Kindred Soul

for Andrea


Fish out of water



flop fish flop


they don’t know art when it’s not theirs

They don’t know home

unless it’s in their bones

and they don’t know

what we do

what bees do

what art does

breath and bone and blood mingle

Thought canvas

thought hive

thought reflecting deep blue water lights

the emptiness

of river

fish out of water



fight kindred soul fight.

-Eva M.M.


Thank you as always for reading and have a wonderful day my little ink angels.

” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow.”

Posted in song analysis, songs, thoughts

Song Analysis: “Broken Crown” By: Mumford and Sons

This is one of those songs I had been planning to write an analysis on for quite some time. Mumford and Sons is one of my favorite bands with their folk, country and deeply passionate music backed by intense and poetic lyrics. In this song, like most of their music, there is a strong use of vocals, and acoustic instruments as well as a strong background.I think the reason I like this song so much is that it goes from the soft banjo to this intense almost thundering tone as Marcus Mumford’s voice screams. Yet, it ends just as softly as it began. It screams passion and when we take a closer look at the lyrics I think the meaning of the song really shines through. Of course, this is only how I understand the song and what I take from it.  It doesn’t mean it was the intended meaning and if you understood it differently than I would love to hear your interpretation in the comments as well.

Broken Crown

Touch my mouth and hold my tongue
I’ll never be your chosen one
I’ll be home safe and tucked away
Well You can’t tempt me if I don’t see the day

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie
‘Cause when I opened my body I breathe in a lie

It is clear that this song is pulling on some strong biblical references. The first verse speaks about temptation and desire. When I read those lyrics I think of Satan tempting Jesus in the desert. Yet, unlike Jesus in the desert, the speaker is feels themselves caving under the draw of temptation. He won’t be the chosen one because he isn’t perfect, he is flawed and may given into desire. On another level that line could be read as the speaker telling a loved one that he is tempted by them but he knows he will never belong to them, they will never chose him. He is going to hide away where temptation and his beloved cannot make him succumb to his desire. I also want to be clear that I don’t read the desire here as necessarily sexual. While I do think the language makes us think it is partly sexual I also think one can be trying to fight of the desire to to feel love for someone… Perhaps as we said because he knows he will never be his beloved’s chosen one or because he feels he is not worthy.  However, we get the sense that he is losing the battle because he says,” The pull on my flesh was just to strong…” and goes on to speak of how the choice and the air was stifled from his lungs. The choice being he no longer feels he has a choice regarding his actions and the air reminds me of he feels like he may be dying. On another note stifled being a strong word may be used to describe how he feels the breath has been taken from him, in awe of his beloved… and he is falling into temptation but can no longer do anything about it. He is going to give into desire and can do nothing about it. The next two line also shed some light on the previous two. He doesn’t dare breath because he knows if he does it will only be a lie. We get the idea that he is also struggling with honesty, possibly towards others, his beloved and most centrally towards himself.

I will not speak of your sin
There was a way out for Him
The mirror shows not
Your values are all shot

But oh my heart, was flawed I knew my weakness
So hold my hand consign me not to darkness

So crawl on my belly ’til the sun goes down
I’ll never wear your broken crown
I took the road and I fucked it all away
Now in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace

So crawl on my belly ’til the sun goes down
I’ll never wear your broken crown
I took the road and I fucked it all away
Now in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace

Then he seems to be reflecting that there was no way out for him. Also, goes along with what he previously said about feeling like he no longer had a choice. The ‘Him‘ in this instance is capitalized so it may also reflect back on biblical language referring to Jesus. He had no way out. In a way, this man is dying because of his sin as he believes Jesus died for all sins. Another way I understood this since he speaks of a mirror, is that he talking to himself in the mirror. He says he won’t speak of his sins. He is telling himself he will not talk about it anymore… in a way this goes back to the line about lying in reference to himself. Yet, he is honest enough to admit to himself that is values are all shot. He knew his weaknesses, he knew his heart but he still was tempted and then it becomes almost like a prayer: “Consign me not to darkness.”

As the music picks up and intensifies we get the chorus repeated twice.  He feels he is crawling on his belly, barely trying to make it but he refuses to wear a broken crown. I think of the broken crown as grace, or somebody coming to pull him through and save him. Once again this may refer to the idea that he feels he does not deserve  grace or is not worthy of something or someone. He is admitting he took the road… so in a way now he is accepting responsibility for his choices… but his choices were all wrong. As the twilight approaches, he doesn’t want to hear for grace. perhaps because he feel she isn’t worthy and perhaps because he is so far down his other path that he doesn’t care. Yet, we get the idea that there is hope for him because he wouldn’t be so angry about letting his choices lead him down that path if he didn’t still care a little.

So crawl on my belly ’til the sun goes down
I’ll never wear your broken crown
I can take the road and I can fuck it all away
But in this twilight, our choices seal our fate

The song then ends quietly again. We get the idea once again that he is no longer able to fight temptation. At the beginning of the song, he was trying to hide from temptation but now he is surrendering to it. He no longer is saying he took the road… but that he can take the road… almost in defiance. Now, it is a choice. At first he lost control and it wasn’t a choice and he tried lying to himself. Now he is honest, he is purposefully choosing to take the road… but he is aware that as the end of the day ( or if we want to read deeper, judgement day) approaches, our choices are what seal our fate.

Notes:  I claim no rights to this song or art. Only to my commentary and analysis of this work.

Picture: All credit to the creator.

Music/Lyrics: All credit to the artist and song writers.

Link: Here is a link a video on  Youtube where you can listen to it: Broken Crown Video.

Thanks for stopping by and joining the ink angels community. Hope you enjoyed this song and it gave you some food for thought. 🙂

-Eva M.M.

” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow.”

Posted in Poems, thoughts


A girl I know
the night huddled over the speckled toliet bowl
watching little floating islands of bread and cheese

Two fingers




– Eva M. Monhaut

Quick notes about this poem:

When I wrote this I originally called it (the)countdown but I settled with 0. Or have at least for the moment. Zero is such an empty number and there is so much emptiness contained in this very empty poem itself. It only seemed fitting.

Also, while this poem does have more than one layer to it eating disorders, in particular bulimia take center stage. I do want to address the fact that I am not condoning those actions not confirming those who may struggle with them. If you or someone you know are struggling with an eating disorder please call one of these numbers, talk to a doctor or other trained professional, and surround yourself with the love and support you need.

Photo credit to the photographer/artists.

Thank you as always for reading and helping me bring awareness to many things contained within this poem.

Posted in life, Poems, thoughts, Uncategorized


we have a history

a speckled past


of me and you



bone and bone-s


doubt doubles on my chest

death lingers at my breast

–breath upon tortured breath,

the night still screams in echo, “LOVE ME!”

but I, stare out at light reflecting water, reflecting light–

still learning to let go.

-Eva M.Monhaut

Thank you guys as always for stopping by and reading. If you are knew to the ink angels community feel free to ask me anything and check out my about me pages.

The photo for this post is not the greatest and I do hope to replace it with a better one in the future. It was taken by me the other night when I went to visit the River lights in South Bend with my friend, The Artist,so shout out to her for bringing my on a much needed adventure and giving me some time to clear my head and inspiration for this poem.

If you want to find out more about the River Lights or just see some better photography skills check this link out:River Lights South Bend.

Love you all!

” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow.”

Posted in life, Poems, thoughts

Stolen Identity

Despairingly, I spoke of your despairing disparity

of ten years lost in translation

of playing hide and seek with your past


all of this is

a winter slowly dying

a woman still questioning

if her heart has been fooled ;


stealing stolen identies

to steal away the pain

of losing who you once were before

identity stolen





to lose



to love.

-Eva M.M.

Thanks as always for stopping by and for your continual love and support of my writing.

” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow.”


Posted in Uncategorized

A confession

shell searching

for a center

still empty

in decay’s lair

call it romance for the sound of it.
police report unreported;
words rank on foolish skin;

how could I love with no love within?

– Eva M.M.

Posted in books, life, thoughts

Top 5 books of 2017

This year as always I wanted to list my top 5 favorite books I read this past year. I apologise for being a little late on this post but I wanted to think a lot about which books meant the most to me and why. After much reflection my list, which I tried to out in order but is not entirely a reflection of the order they fall in within my heart, stands as lsited here.

1. The Brother’s Karamatzov – Fyodor Dostoevsky

2. Anna Karenina- Leo Tolstoy

3.  A death in the Family- James Agee

4.1984 – George Orwell

5. Angle of Repose – Wallace Stegner
Thank you for reading my little list and letting me know if you have read any of these wonders or any book recommendations for me based off of these books.

– Eva M.M.

Posted in books, life, thoughts

Books I read: 2017

Another year of writing, reading and change has come to an end here on 1withthepen and per usual I wanted to list here the books I have read this year. Taking this time to reflect on how all of these books, both similar and vastly different in many ways have come to influence my thoughts, my life and my writing. Since 2015 when I started 1withthepen till now almost 2.5 years later a lot has changed. However, my love of books has remained the same and these 35 books I read during 2017, at least the ones I remembered to keep track of, as well as everything else not listed here, have helped bring me through another wonderful year. So goodbye 2017 and welcome 2018. May this year be as much of a blessing as the last and be filled with many more wonderful books.

For those of you new to these posts, I simply list the books I read this year in no particular order and love hearing your feedback,questions and comments on the books.

I have also inserted a direct link to my year in books on Goodreads.

  1. Apology for Raymond Sebond  – Montaigne
  2. The Girl on the Train –  Paula Hawkins
  3. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying – Sogyal Rinpoche
  4. Before I wake -Robert J. Wiersema
  5. Going Bovine- Libby Bray
  6.  Hamlet – Shakespeare
  7. A History of God- Karen Armstrong
  8. A Death Struck Year- Makiia Lucier
  9. Infinite Jest – David Foster Wallace
  10. A Death in the Family – James Agee
  11. Discourse on Methods and Meditations- Rene Descartes
  12.  A Thousand Mornings- Mary Oliver
  13. Reason in History – Hegel
  14. In the Woods- Tana French
  15. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
  16. The Fall- Albert Camus
  17. The Stranger- Albert Camus
  18. The Brothers Karamazov- Fyodor Dostoevsky
  19. Trains and Lovers- Alexander McCall Smith
  20. The Death List- Paul Johnston
  21.  1984- George Orwell
  22. Thirteen Reasons Why- Jay Asher
  23. The Irresistible Blueberry Bakeshop & Cafe- Mary Simses
  24. Glitter-Aprilynne Pike
  25. Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of a Fist-Sunil Yapa
  26. The Haj- Leon Uris
  27. The Charterhouse of Parma- Stendhal
  28. Dracula-Bram Stoker
  29. Angle of Repose-Wallace Stegner
  30. The Joy Luck Club-Amy Tan
  31. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking- Susan Cain
  32. Born Round: The Secret History of a Full Time Eater- Frank Bruni
  33. The Sexual Revolution: Pioneer Writings on Sex- Krafft-Ebing
  34. Shattered Innocence- Robert Scott
  35. The Red Pony- John Steinbeck

So those are all the books I read this past year. Let me know which numbers you have read and have a Happy New Year.

-Eva M.Monhaut