Posted in life, Poems, thoughts, Uncategorized

The liar

I am a wall of lies.

Break through me

and cradle bloodied bones

in the nook of your arms.

– Eva M.M.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Thanks for reading my lovely ink angels.

Advertisements
Posted in life, Poems, thoughts

Silence

This silence is deathly,

the chasm between you and I

seems to be ever growing…

your silence is smothering me

and my words lay flat on the page

forgotten by your eyes.

Forgotten by your heart?

Forgotten–

bye

your

once brave and bold flower

now

lies

Wilted;

Yet towards you 

still remains

titled.

-Eva M.M.

Posted in Poems, thoughts

Jackals

u

say

bones taste like victory

like the rush and blur of winning the game

or the moment right after you shoot your first game,

the still echo of a bullet shredding through flesh .

Is that how it felt 

to hold my head down

and 

put dead flesh to youth?

i say

victory tastes like forgetting

the rush and blur of innocence lost

and the moment right after his eyes lose their bloodied gloss,

the still echo of whimpering women.

– Eva M.M.

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me in the comments. 

Posted in book review, books, life, philiosophy, thoughts

Book Review: “Quiet:The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.” By: Susan Cain

” You need to get out more.”

“Quit being so antisocial!”

“Why do you hate people so much?”

I have heard it all as a introvert surrounded by a world that embraces extrovertism. Words that came from the mouths of friends, family,teachers,co-workers and yes even other introverts. As a whole, we encourage and reward outgoing,socially dynamic and take things by the horns people. Even I admire those characteristics in others but the battle I used to have against what society was telling me I should be and what I always felt I was has come to a standstill. In the last five years of my life I learned that there was a word for who I was, an introvert. Since then I have learned to embrace my introvert ism and have learned that I am not alone out there. In fact, half of the worlds population are introverts. That may surprise a lot of you because introverts rarely get center stage and after all, is that what we really want?

NO!

All we want and all about us is beautiful explained in Susan Cain’s book. I think she can explain it all ten times more eloquently than I can so you all should pick up a copy and read it for yourself. Yes, all of you, introvert, extrovert, mother,father…whatever you are..because it is not just an introvert empowerment book, but also a good outline everybody. It shows us how we ought to deal with our school setups, office layouts, children, ourselves, anxiety… in order that we not only function at our best but so do our children, out family’s unit, classrooms thrive, and business blossom. I may sound cliche but it really has been disregarded in our modern day society that everybody has something different to bring to the table.  We simply forget that some people would rather write it down than march in front of a group of business men with our ideas. For some, we simply operate better under more isolated and quiet conditions and others need the openness and activeness of others to bounce their ideas off of one another.

I think that Cain offers us all a chance to take a closer look at our identities and our world. I can only dream of a world where people truly understand what it means to be introverted. And an added bonus would be the efficiency and more depth to our society, which the more I reflect on it seems to be shallower day by day.

In her book Cain shares this quote with us

Our culture made virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost out center and have to find it again.

-Anais Nin

As a reflective and hopeful introvert, especially after reading such a wonderfully stated book, I believe we can as a whole find that center again. While individually one can always pursue this within in the world of extrovertism, outwardly our culture does not look for its center. Perhaps, if we learned to embrace these two vastly different ways of being in the world, than we could find a core, a center solid enough too withstand even the greatest of cultural disasters.

-Eva M.M.

Thank you for reading and stopping by and have a wonderful, chilly, end of fall day.

 

 

Posted in life, philiosophy, thoughts

No shave till November?

No shave November started as a movement in which men did not shave the entire month of November in order to raise awareness and money for cancer patients. In particular, it first focused on awareness of prostate and testicular cancer. It soon spread to become a more general movement for cancer awareness. Soon women were taking part in the movement for many different reasons. Some for its original purpose where all the money saved on not shaving or buying shaving equipment was donated towards cancer awareness and helping the patients. Later some women made the movement as a challenge to themselves and a statement against men. While I think that can be a bold thing in and of itself and while it can simultaneously raise cancer awareness, I do think that not shaving to let men know you don’t have to shave makes no sense. You can always just not shave, that is a given. However, I did have a reason that I wanted to try this myself.  I do hope that this post makes people aware of cancer and the movement and have linked you to the website where you yourself can find out more and get involved. (No shave Website)

However, my reasons for doing this went beyond that. They did not come from some feminists initiative either. I simply have wondered for a while now why I shave what I shave, when I do and if I would really like to keep shaving or if I might actually prefer having my body hair. For me this whole process was more of a personal endeavor to find out more about myself and my preferences.  I wanted to do this but I wanted to really give myself enough time to be stuck with my body hair and have it grow as long as it would. I needed that time to be self reflective and think about why and if I liked or disliked it. Instead of no shave November I made my trial no shave till November and I started half way through August.

That is right: I did not shave for two and a half months… and now the entire world can know.

But I learned a lot, heard a lot and will try to be brief but I really do want to talk both about what I learned and the main responses I got.

Responses: Throughout this entire process I got many different responses. When I started it was still warm enough to wear shorts and I have dark leg hair so it was definitely visible. Not surprisingly to me, I only noticed one guy who seemed to notice and he did not  really seem to care. I say this was not a surprise to me but probably to a lot of women who claim it is men who want the to shave or expect them to. Granted if I had been in any intimate situations with a male, I guarantee you they would have noticed but as a general note they really seemed not to care or even notice. It was the women who noticed and cared. One girl in my Monday afternoon class overheard me talking with my friend about it towards the end and she turned to me.

” You do that?”

So I explained the entire thing to her and she wrinkled up her face and went ” EWWWW”

Yeah, eww because something entirely natural is so disgusting. For some hair= bad hygiene. I could have pointed out to her that it does not and that she ought to be more worried about my actual bad hygiene practices instead of my body hair. I will also admit I was kind of tempted to shove my pits in her face but I figured that might not be socially acceptable.

Another girl asked me if I owned a razor and I asked if I needed to.

She told me it was just that nobody wanted to see that and yes she even asked me how my boyfriend felt about it. I told her I didn’t really tell him about the entire thing in depth so I wasn’t sure. At any rate he isn’t here so why does it matter. He clearly would not care as much as you. Side note: I plan on doing a post on relationships and body hair soon.

There were more interesting reactions as well but I want to share more on my personal experience now.

I did not shave any part of my body for 2.5 months and I am so glad I did this because I learned a lot.

  1. Legs- I learned I really do not like my leg hair. If I don’t see or feel it( wearing pants a lot) then I don’t care. Also, I am lazy and if I get behind on it, I am not stressed or bothered by it enough to take the time to shave. In other words, I am going to keep shaving it sporadically because I am lazy.
  2.  Armpits- This one I think actually bothered people the most. For some reason arm pit hair on women is so disgusting. In truth, even I thought I would hate this the most. I kind of don’t. Sorry, for those who find this gross. I hated it at first because of the way it felt but suddenly it just became really soft and I like it a lot.I probably will shave it in the summer, yet again sporadically. However, I think for now I am just going to keep it. Flaunt my fur.
  3. And because I know you all are totally wondering…  My Nether-regions… So similar to my armpits I was like I hate this texture, but halfway through it actually grew softer. I don’t even know why I ever even started to shave and its not like I have ever been in a relationship where I found the need to. I learned that I still don’t completely know how I feel about it even. Maybe keep it trimmed, shave it sometimes. I really don’t know. But I am still glad I did this because I am more comfortable with it now.

I know writing about this on the internet was kind of a crazy thing to do. But I did it not to disgust my followers but to encourage you whoever you are, to try something similar. Leave that beard, bush or let those leg hairs grow. Maybe after all you will learn that you like something different and maybe you keep everything the same. The point is to learn things about yourself.

On that hairy note…..

Have a wonderful day and let me know your thoughts on this entire process in the comments below.

” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow.”

-Eva M.M.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in life, Poems, thoughts

Polarization

I want 

to get drunk on espressos

in tiny slanted street cafés.

Lose myself

in

your hushed voice that once

read poetry to me and

wrote sonnets on my heart.
I want to

want you

in 

every 

word

I

say;
but time has turned my blood to gel

and the frost is gathering on the windows,

from you only silence

for you only sorrow .

– Eva M.M.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I always welcome constructive critism or just thoughts on my writing. 

“Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow.”

Posted in life, thoughts, travel, Uncategorized

Chicago

There are a lot of things I do not understand, like how minds paint skyscrapers against the windy horizon, and how in a world entirely apart from you, I am still suffocating beneath the intensity of your words.

Today I was in Chicago for the first time that amounts to anything. I could probably rant on and on about every tiny detail I can remember but I’d rather take the atmosphere for what it was as a whole .

Being in Chicago reminded me of every time I have found myself in any city for a significant period of time. Each has its own rythm, its own breath , its own inhale and exhale. Chicago’s reminded me a little of diving into a deep dark and myterious pool ever deepening, ever widening,in which diversity is found at every corner. Yet, you must rush to the top to catch your breath and make sense of what you have seen before letting the chill hit your face again as you dive beneath the surface.

While in the grand scheme of things I hardly saw the tip of the iceberg, I still feel that I walked away with a greater sense of Chicago. For all of you out there who adore the city or call it your home, I must admit I have never understood all of the hype. But here and now I will say , I get it, I get the pulse and the life of that Windy City. I still do not want to live there but I do want to go back. I look forward to going back and immersing myself in its culture once again. I do better that way. Wandering the world with my pen in my hand. I become lost in worlds that I morph into. In some ways, I see myself as somewhat of a chameleon , always absorbing the colors and tones of the world around me and camoflaging into those atmopsheres.

There are a lot of things I still do not understand. I am mesmerized by the genuis and inguinity of people. I stand in awe of the dreams people made concrete, people made steel , people let their dreams stand and scrape against the sky. And I? I’m still here, a speck compared to those grand structures, those works of art and  that jumbled mass that beats as one, torn and united all at once . It screams humanity to me.

I walk away at the end of today wondering why in the shadow of such diverse creativity and ingunity, I feel like I have been hollowed of all thought.Clearly, the fact that I am writing this instead of taking a much needed power nap before our bus pulls back onto campus, shows I am not devoid of thought. In fact, my thoughts are fueled. Yet, I feel a tranquil emptiness that does not lack sad undertones, but is overpowered by a contentment I often find when I drink in a new world.

I am ready to sleep. I am ready to reflect more on this all soon but for now more than anything I am ready to breathe in the chill of the November night on a brisk walk home .

-Eva M.M.

For more great posts on Chicago check these links out.

Cross Country Life-Chicago

Stonur on the Road- Chicago

Bucket List Travels – Guest Post – Chicago

Chicago- Another Aerial View

Dear Chicago

Chicago – The Daily Sketches

Best Ways to Spend a Day In Chicago

A day in Chicago

Three days in Chicago

Amanda Likes Travel — Chicago

Chicago Dogs

Travels and Adventures of Mrs. Heatherly — Chicago

Chicago — It’s Complicated

And there are so many more I did not add links to here so go ahead and search up more interesting opinions, trips and information abut the Windy City.

Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful day my lovely ink angels.

Posted in life, Poems, thoughts, Uncategorized

Dearest silence,

Dearest silence,

no longer so dear to me. You have put a strain on my heart; ties, tension, taunt… Me alone with only myself and I

am beginning to believe everything they said

that I was sacrificing myself for a man who did not realize the weight of sacrifice.

 

Most bitter solitude

that once was honey upon my twisted tongue

tied in knots, heart– morphed flame, you—tortured breath upon that dreary wind

that I had come to love; It breaks through that land of emerald and jade,

wrapped in lavender and laughter

that with you still won’t fade.

 

tragically yours,

e.m.m.

 

 

-Eva M.M.

 

 

 

 

Posted in life, Poems, thoughts

@ Charlie’s 

splintered- spine

slants

towards

shuddering shoulders.

your words

suspended above

my words

solid ice in my veins.

daring to dare

you

to place

lips

on

a lie.

left to sulk,

to beg:

Still love me, my love,

in memory

remember me,

tucked away in your top shelf.

– Eva M.M.

Thank you all for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. I know I announced this post a while back on Instagram and am finally getting around to it so my apologies for the delay. 

” Me and the pen, we are one. If its ink would cease to flow, my ink would cease to flow “